holding steady.™

i have a lot of guy friends. and oftentimes, my guy friends will ask me to explain the behavior of a certain crazy female who is acting the fool. what amuses me is that, in light of the fact that i have so many guy friends, many of my straight girl friends will ask me to explain male behavior.

what i usually say to the guys is the corollary of what i say to women. guys, the reason why your girlfriend/wife/grind partner/booty call is acting crazy is because she is, in fact, crazy. all women of every stripe in the modern post-industrial Western society are (at least) a little bit nuts. it’s got a lot to do with the whole over-thinking every single thing to the point of obsession, as we seek to divine meaning from every disgruntled sigh you let out at the department store and each time you check out the waitress’ ass.

what i always say to women is that the actions of their boyfriend/fiancé/married boss/teaching assistant are a reflection of the fact that guys tend to not think about anything as much as women think about everything. so looking for a deeper truth in the fact that he took three days to call you back rather than instantly responding the voicemail you left him as soon as he dropped you off is really just going to make you insane (see above paragraph).

this comes up because i seem to find myself in a sort of relationship lately. and what i keep coming back to is my theory that all women are crazy. i put up with it a) because i’m a woman, and i can’t just abandon the cause because we’re all a touch psychotic, and b) because i can’t help how much i like women, outsides and insides alike. but what i’m starting to notice about myself is that i’m not immune to the craziness of women. i find myself paying an awkward amount of attention to what people aren’t saying when they speak to me. it’s starting to make me uncomfortable, because if i could just do that to the person i’m dating, that would be fine, even expected. but i almost never need to do that with her, and so instead this creepily attentive sense of mine is getting turned on to my friends and associates. it’s almost enough to make a person lose it, but i can take some comfort in knowing that i’m not the only person who does this kind of stupid shit.

that’s right. i’m one of those people who is ok being crazy as long as i’m not suffering alone. there’s a word for this condition, i’m sure of it.

the morning of 2 july 2009…back when i used to live in miami.

montage

even better dinner tonight. ina garten’s “grown-up mac’n'cheese” and cheddar/dill/scallion scones…all, made of deliciousness.

delicious mac'n'CHEZ

delicious scones

all done, while listening to the new kid cudi album, specifically the song “simple as.”

kidcudi3.png

and i’m finally going to sleep, after finally finishing tron, & blogging a bunch of stuff that’s been sitting in the starred folder of google reader/my downloads folder. time to reboot my poor, tired, 12-days running computer. note: i’m still not finished packing.

also, i think my itunes library is in open revolt. it played a song by paramore, which naturally meant i had to listen to the entire riot album. twice. say what you will about pop music, but those kids make catchy tunes.

anyways, before i shut it down for the (morning?), i thought i’d share one last thing. i saw this picture on wejetset a couple of months ago, but i’ve been waiting for a reason to reference it. tonight, i started truly jamming to a remix (by junior boys) of billie holiday singing “yesterday“, and it made me…take it easy. there’s something about these boys waiting on a train platform that really exudes an air of calm. i need this to be more a part of my life. night.

takeiteasy.jpg

and sometimes, i’m just proud of my subjects for putting up with me.

the husband™.jpg

crazy, to think that we’re less than a month away from our one-year anniversary.

i often feel as though i neglect this blog. i never really had a purpose in mind when i got it. i bought the hosting account and figured i might as well learn how to install wordpress, since i had so much space available. then, i started blogging randomly regarding the songs that made my day, which was in it’s own way pretty satisfying.

but the blogs that i look to for inspiration have a more eclectic and forthcoming perspective, and that’s the kind of ethereal feeling that i’m now going for. it’s something i tend to accomplish with my tumblelog, so now i’m aggregating all posts to the wordpress hosted blog. here’s hoping it all goes the way i want it to.

-gainesville rock gym!!
-i’m getting a hookah.
-more trips to ikea.com
-my gorgeous painting ideas (hint: there’s going to be an obama on the wall…somewhere)
-making tacos and macaroni and cheese and pizza all in the same night will finally be an option.
-i’m going to watch a lot of sports. a lot.
-it’s possible that they will let me audit some photography classes (ftw!!)
-the work for ‘a moveable feast’ (more on this later, or you can check the inspiration for this) is almost done, so i can start keeping track of things.
-furthering my education and all that

i mean, if you’re into that type of thing, you’ll appreciate this.

try listening to a combination of any/all astral matrix songs ever recorded, grizzly bear’s “veckatimest,” & a pick-your-own selection of radiohead’s greatest songs, while the iTunes 8 visualizer runs in the background.

the visualizer is originally based off of (or is the next version of) an older third-party iTunes visualizer named magnetosphere by a company called barbarian group. i first appreciated their new work when i finally updated to iTunes 8 in decemeber, and liked it so very much that i sent them an email to thank them.

Tue-Jun 2 09-20158..png

in any event, do what i say. (astral matrix + “veckatimest” + radiohead) x magnetosphere 2.0 x m.a.s. > awesome.

UPDATE: i found a link to the original magnetosphere visualizer.

[while listening to the end of last week wednesday's rachel madow show and the first part of grizzly bear's veckatimist]
completed the reporting for my job (which i was a month behind on), told one of my supervisors that i was going to uf for grad school, went to the bathroom and changed into my “it’s freezing at work” shirt

[while listening to the rest of veckatimest]
began the dismal process of looking up a map of gainesville, locating the political science department and trying to find someplace to live near there (it should be noted that this process was made that much more dismal by the frequent cutting out of the wireless network at my job); planned what i was going to have for lunch

[while watching twilight]
ate my delicious asian sesame chicken salad

[while replaying radiohead's in rainbows in my head]
participated in a focus group for the program i’m in at the job

[part II: give an alternate meaning to common words (c/o the same as above)]

1. coffee, n. the person u pon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehi cle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[so, you're supposed to take a word from the dictionary, alter it by adding/subtracting/changing one letter, and give it a new definition. (c/o dialogic)]

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Belief that one will come back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The subs tance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11 . Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?20And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter whenn they come at you rapidly.

15. A rachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

first, a disclosure: i love rainy days. as long as i’m inside.

i think of them as opportunities to stay in bed, curled up, listening to the rain on my roof and against my windows. it’s awesome.

today i’m buying this bike. i’m jazzed.

12_carrerablue.jpg

i though it might be nice to keep (in a safe place) a running tally of all the crap i’m clearing off the old mac. ‘old’ is a relative term, my baby is only a year and a half. but i seem to have accumulated a lot of unnecessaries.
for instance, in the system preferences pane category, we have:

synergy
afloat
stoplight
flip4mac
a better finder
menuet
witch (i may end up keeping this, since i did like it in theory)
unplugged
warp

more substantive updates coming soon. been meaning to update to wordpress 2.7 (re: last post) but life has some things it need(ed)s me to do first.

i think i want my website to have a “best quotes of the x-files” section.

it’ll be like middle school, where i created a purpose-less science project having something to do with television commercials, so that i could tape and watch HOURS of the x-files reruns on fx.

lots and lots of fun is headed my way this summer. but as it turns out, i don’t know that i’ll get around to getting a job.

xfiles-mulder-and-scully.jpg