Archived entries for lists

the ten worst things that could ever happen*

*to me, obviously.

(only the first three are in order, the rest just came to me)

  1. being burned alive by the Ku Klux Klan
  2. having sex with a man
  3. being raped by a man
  4. becoming a paraplegic
  5. being roommates with Taylor Swift
  6. getting sucked into a space vacuum
  7. being Catholic
  8. having an appendage chopped off with a butcher’s cleaver
  9. drowning
  10. going to prison

update: things that make me excited to move…

(for the original, see here)

-i have yet to go to the rock gym.

-i didn’t buy that hookah.

-ikea.com charges out the ass for shipping, and you can’t buy lamps and housewares online. balls.

-i did do most of that painting, and it is pretty sweet.

-i in fact have made tacos and mac-n-cheese in the same night. it’s over-hyped.

-i do watch a lot of sports. 70% of my tv-watching.

-you would, i suppose, have to pay to audit a course. and i’m cheap.

-i chucked the moveable feast idea a while ago, it takes a lot more time than i could commit.

-the education thing keeps happening, so i suppose that’s something.

summer plans.

i shouldn’t have even typed that out as the title, since i still don’t have definite plans.

but i guess i just wanted to express how excited i am that several research opportunities have presented themselves for the upcoming mid-year break. those, along with my personal dedication to do some internal housekeeping (e.g. FINALLY organize, categorize and properly tag all my photos, clean up my music library, practice the guitar, do a little triathlon training, learn to cook some new things…basically be a better me™, will go a long way towards keeping me busy and out of trouble.

since i won’t see much (if any) of my beloved Miami this summer, it’s kind of just as well that i get things done, and in a big way.

ok, i guess i’ll go to work now…

mid-year reflections on grad school

  1. there’s a lot of emailing that happens. a lot. it’s really easy to get drama started via email. it’s happened at least 3 times in the past five months.
  2. college students NEVER visit during your office hours, unless it’s to get something out of you. i can appreciate that, having been a college student like seven minutes ago. but it’s really dreary to sit in a room for two hours, when you know that the chances of you interacting with another human being are slim.
  3. ultimately, you go to grad school to improve the speed with which you can violate copyright protections. for proof, all one would need to do is go to the copying/scanning section in any university library. there will be at least one kid who is making copies/scanning with a look of trepidation across their face, like they’re worried Prentice Hall/Cambridge University Press cops are about to jump out from behind something and arrest them (these kids are undergrads). there will also be at least one person who is committing a variant on intellectual property infringement with a tired, somewhat dazed look on their face, but at an incredible speed. these are my people, these are grad students.

why i am a liberal

i’m a liberal:

  • because i believe that fair (not free) trade is necessary, as “little people” deserve to make some money, too
  • because i don’t mind paying more money in taxes if it means someone won’t go hungry tonight
  • because the tendency of some to abuse a welfare state and the opportunities it affords isn’t a good enough reason to not take care of people who genuinely need the help of their government
  • because a democratic government belongs to everyone
  • because the march of history has made frequent casualties of the members of minority groups and extending equitable opportunity is one way of correcting this (and it is something that needs to be corrected)
  • because humanity is not more adept at judging itself than God, and we mustn’t seek to limit the personal choices people can make for themselves[1]
  • because the goals of a free society should not include provisions to criminalize action in the absence of very compelling evidence of its harm to any of the members of its people (e.g. murder and theft, being things that NO ONE wants to have happen to them), but instead should act to preserve what freedoms do exist; in other words, “you don’t need a reason to make something legal, you need a reason to make some illegal”)
  • because i believe in pluralism and the existence of more than one opinion

    • and

  • because i really don’t think that my personal religious faith is applicable (legally, politically or even morally) to anyone else except me.

    • also, i happen to find much modern conservatism [2] in practice to be akin to dark-age-fascism (since apparently, i’m a big communist…news to me). i still haven’t decided if it’s worse to be a conservative and not know why, or to be a conservative and know exactly why. the jury is still out in my mind, but either way, we probably won’t be friends .

    (this was kind of the answer i gave when recently asked whether or not i could ever date a conservative. the answer is “unlikely,” if it wasn’t clear.)

    [1] though religion should stay the hell out of politics, if everyone is going to treat the discourse on what government should and shouldn’t do as though that section of the first amendment on “free exercise” isn’t there, and that our Judeo-Christian foundations are to be heavily relied upon, then let’s do that in the context of the way it was written. if God can allow for free will, who the hell are we to limit that? (also, see the next point)

    [2] conservatism, in my interpretation, requires an acknowledgment of a superior opinion or perspective and tends to ignore dissent; is often so focused on establishing “freedom of opportunity” that it tramples the non-majoritarian actors in a society and in practice is neither equal nor fair; and ascribes a questionable type of morality to the application of and political decision related to domestic and (if possible, more frighteningly) foreign policy. this is a minimal delve into all that conservatism is, but we really don’t have that kind of time.
    also, these are often the people who deify ayn rand…which…no.

    22 things i have learned since 27 june 1987

    1. yogurt isn’t as bad as it is that first time.
    2. falling in love feels like the most intense thing you will ever experience. it is…but then, it isn’t.
    3. spending the extra cash to not compromise (but instead get what you really want) is worth it about 75% of the time.
    4. you can never really get tired of Mexican food.
    5. learning how to cook is the most valuable skill you can reasonably expect to learn.
    6. there is no such thing as having too many books, or too fast of an internet connection.
    7. it’s a good thing to cry during the movie.
    8. you can always be just a little more organized.
    9. there is totally such a thing as “too much [insert substance here].” that being said, there are a very small number of occasions when it is best to turn to drugs or alcohol instead of really dealing with an issue.
    10. six hours is not a full night of sleep.
    11. being afraid to open up is just as bad as being entirely too open.
    12. older women are better, always.
    13. when moving to a new city, finding a place that serves (and delivers!) your favorite comfort food will stave off your homesickness for a while.
    14. there does come an age when you are too old for a futon.
    15. being nervous, and having a fear of public speaking, is all about your state of mind. it’s totally within your control. UPDATE: so are the munchies.
    16. you never get exactly what you want, and the earlier in your life that you realize this, all the better.
    17. the anticipation of leisure when you’ve been working is a strong motivator.
    18. when you move into a new place, the first thing you should do is locate the circuit breaker. the second thing is to check the water pressure.
    19. it’s worth the snobby hipster points you accumulate for going out and getting yourself 1) a french press coffee maker and 2) a good record player.
    20. little gestures go a long way. taking the time to handwrite a note conveying gratitude is the kind of thing people aren’t likely to soon forget.
    21. if you’ve read a particularly good book, you’ll find it useful to recommend it to a friend (so now you have someone to gush to).
    22. you can feel “too old” or “too young” at almost any age. qualifiers are a part of life, & without them, we’re all just waiting on a feeling.

    things that make me excited to move to gainesville

    -gainesville rock gym!!
    -i’m getting a hookah.
    -more trips to ikea.com
    -my gorgeous painting ideas (hint: there’s going to be an obama on the wall…somewhere)
    -making tacos and macaroni and cheese and pizza all in the same night will finally be an option.
    -i’m going to watch a lot of sports. a lot.
    -it’s possible that they will let me audit some photography classes (ftw!!)
    -the work for ‘a moveable feast’ (more on this later, or you can check the inspiration for this) is almost done, so i can start keeping track of things.
    -furthering my education and all that

    washpo: mensa invitational

    [so, you're supposed to take a word from the dictionary, alter it by adding/subtracting/changing one letter, and give it a new definition. (c/o dialogic)]

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

    3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation : Belief that one will come back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The subs tance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11 . Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?20And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter whenn they come at you rapidly.

    15. A rachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

    my CLWI (can’t live without it) iphone apps

    Tweetie
    Delivery Status
    Amazon
    Fizz Weather
    College FB
    Wikipanion
    Things
    iPhlix
    1Password
    City Transit/iTrans
    Wordpress
    iStat
    Remote
    Sol Free
    Tipulator
    Refections
    QuadCamera
    iPhone OS: Maps, iPod

    stuff i’m getting rid of

    i though it might be nice to keep (in a safe place) a running tally of all the crap i’m clearing off the old mac. ‘old’ is a relative term, my baby is only a year and a half. but i seem to have accumulated a lot of unnecessaries.
    for instance, in the system preferences pane category, we have:

    synergy
    afloat
    stoplight
    flip4mac
    a better finder
    menuet
    witch (i may end up keeping this, since i did like it in theory)
    unplugged
    warp

    more substantive updates coming soon. been meaning to update to wordpress 2.7 (re: last post) but life has some things it need(ed)s me to do first.