holding steady.™

1. there’s a lot of emailing that happens. a lot. it’s really easy to get drama started via email. it’s happened at least 3 times in the past five months.
2. college students NEVER visit during your office hours, unless it’s to get something out of you. i can appreciate that, having been a college student like seven minutes ago. but it’s really dreary to sit in a room for two hours, when you know that the chances of you interacting with another human being are slim.
3. ultimately, you go to grad school to improve the speed with which you can violate copyright protections. for proof, all one would need to do is go to the copying/scanning section in any university library. there will be at least one kid who is making copies/scanning with a look of trepidation across their face, like they’re worried Prentice Hall/Cambridge University Press cops are about to jump out from behind something and arrest them (these kids are undergrads). there will also be at least one person who is committing a variant on intellectual property infringement with a tired, somewhat dazed look on their face, but at an incredible speed. these are my people, these are grad students.

1. yogurt isn’t as bad as it is that first time.
2. falling in love feels like the most intense thing you will ever experience. it is…but then, it isn’t.
3. spending the extra cash to not compromise (but instead get what you really want) is worth it about 75% of the time.
4. you can never really get tired of Mexican food.
5. learning how to cook is the most valuable skill you can reasonably expect to learn.
6. there is no such thing as having too many books, or too fast of an internet connection.
7. it’s a good thing to cry during the movie.
8. you can always be just a little more organized.
9. there is totally such a thing as “too much [insert substance here].” that being said, there are a very small number of occasions when it is best to turn to drugs or alcohol instead of really dealing with an issue.
10. six hours is not a full night of sleep.
11. being afraid to open up is just as bad as being entirely too open.
12. older women are better, always.
13. when moving to a new city, finding a place that serves (and delivers!) your favorite comfort food will stave off your homesickness for a while.
14. there does come an age when you are too old for a futon.
15. being nervous, and having a fear of public speaking, is all about your state of mind. it’s totally within your control. UPDATE: so are the munchies.
16. you never get exactly what you want, and the earlier in your life that you realize this, all the better.
17. the anticipation of leisure when you’ve been working is a strong motivator.
18. when you move into a new place, the first thing you should do is locate the circuit breaker. the second thing is to check the water pressure.
19. it’s worth the snobby hipster points you accumulate for going out and getting yourself 1) a french press coffee maker and 2) a good record player.
20. little gestures go a long way. taking the time to handwrite a note conveying gratitude is the kind of thing people aren’t likely to soon forget.
21. if you’ve read a particularly good book, you’ll find it useful to recommend it to a friend (so now you have someone to gush to).
22. you can feel “too old” or “too young” at almost any age. qualifiers are a part of life, & without them, we’re all just waiting on a feeling.

-a toilet

-several painkillers (ibuprofen, exedrin migraine and aleve are all acceptable)

-pepto bismal swallowable tablets (because who can swallow nasty pink shit without wanting to throw up more?)

-chicken strips (i prefer publix’s)

-some kind of fruit (today, it was peaches and bananas) or fruit smoothies (bolthouse farms)

-chex mix or some other super salty snack

-pilsbury toaster scrambles (i like the bacon ones)

-soothing music (i.e. yeasayer, or the dan brown audiobooks…or both)

-funny tv shows (i.e. 30 rock, will and grace)

-good friends.

starting in april, i think i’m going to start keeping a running tally of how often certain things happen to me.

i’ll have to make the list first, but i want to engage in some type of infographic recording system of what goes on in my life.

some ideas:

miles traveled via bus, bike, and skateboard

purchases made via amazon.com

times checked balance on bankofamerica.com

phone conversations lasting longer than 15 minutes

(percentage of those with the girlfriend)

showers taken per week (ave)

twitter updates

texts sent per day (ave)

t-shirts purchased

times i personally did the laundry

times the laundry got done

pages written (for school)

emails sent

times quit biting fingernails

pounds gained/lost

alcohol consumed

pictures taken

travels taken

whew…i’m gonna need to organize this crap. probably gonna do that next week sometime. in between doing all the other shit i have to do.

i recently made a list (because i felt it was necessary) of things that i felt i would need to know before getting “serious” with someone. i refer to sex, mostly for witticism’s sake.  

1. full name
2. birth sex
3. original hair color
4. shoe size
5. right/left-handed?
6. favorite color
7. smells that make you nauseous
8. favorite food
9. least favorite food
10. dairy/sugary allergy
11. favorite genre of film
12. # of previous sexual partners (60% for health reasons, 40% nosiness)
13. # of previous relationships
14. seinfeld or frasier?
15. britney or christina?
16. any children?
17. education thusfar?
18. favorite body part
19. do you enjoy fishing?
20. how long can you hold your breath?
21. # of stuffed animals you own
22. most alcohol consumed in a single circumstance
23. have you ever been in love?
24. favorite band/singer at the moment
25. least favorite body part
26. last time you went to a cultural event
27. mcdonalds or taco bell?
28. favorite clothing item
29. birth date
30. are you afraid of the dark?
31. how much time do you spend on your computer?
32. number or relationships/sexual encounters that have ended with you no longer speaking to the person
33. number of contacts in your cell phone address book
34. have you ever been married?
35. do you believe in God?
36. foreign countries visited in the past year
37. tattoos?
38. dogs or cats?
39. thunder or lightening?
40. how do you get around (mode of transportation)?
41. last time you had sex
42. who do you think won the 2000 election?
43. favorite ice cream flavor
44. longest amount of time spent on the phone
45. until what age did you believe in santa claus?
46. are you a waxer?
47. mac or windows?
48. favorite spectator sport
49. # of living grandparents
50. do you have an idea of what you would ultimately like to do with your life?