absurdity.
i have a lot of guy friends. and oftentimes, my guy friends will ask me to explain the behavior of a certain crazy female who is acting the fool. what amuses me is that, in light of the fact that i have so many guy friends, many of my straight girl friends will ask me to explain male behavior.
what i usually say to the guys is the corollary of what i say to women. guys, the reason why your girlfriend/wife/grind partner/booty call is acting crazy is because she is, in fact, crazy. all women of every stripe in the modern post-industrial Western society are (at least) a little bit nuts. it’s got a lot to do with the whole over-thinking every single thing to the point of obsession, as we seek to divine meaning from every disgruntled sigh you let out at the department store and each time you check out the waitress’ ass.
what i always say to women is that the actions of their boyfriend/fiancé/married boss/teaching assistant are a reflection of the fact that guys tend to not think about anything as much as women think about everything. so looking for a deeper truth in the fact that he took three days to call you back rather than instantly responding the voicemail you left him as soon as he dropped you off is really just going to make you insane (see above paragraph).
this comes up because i seem to find myself in a sort of relationship lately. and what i keep coming back to is my theory that all women are crazy. i put up with it a) because i’m a woman, and i can’t just abandon the cause because we’re all a touch psychotic, and b) because i can’t help how much i like women, outsides and insides alike. but what i’m starting to notice about myself is that i’m not immune to the craziness of women. i find myself paying an awkward amount of attention to what people aren’t saying when they speak to me. it’s starting to make me uncomfortable, because if i could just do that to the person i’m dating, that would be fine, even expected. but i almost never need to do that with her, and so instead this creepily attentive sense of mine is getting turned on to my friends and associates. it’s almost enough to make a person lose it, but i can take some comfort in knowing that i’m not the only person who does this kind of stupid shit.
that’s right. i’m one of those people who is ok being crazy as long as i’m not suffering alone. there’s a word for this condition, i’m sure of it.
